


The one time Stannis went Las Vegas.....

by Tigi



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-19 01:09:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29742696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tigi/pseuds/Tigi
Summary: ,,Where were you, we need you.....?"began Robert to snapp, in his eyes a blue fire was burning and you could almost feel the heat of it, burning you.,,I was in Vegas.",,I know."interrupted Robert impatiently.,,I got a divorce.",,Lucky bastard."observed Robert grumpily.,,And then I got a girlfriend.",,That I won't believe until I met her."declared Robert coldly.,,And then I got married in Vegas.",,To your girlfriend, that's...."began Robert with a broad smile.,,I got married to my husband."came the annoucnent that left Robert breathless.,,You did what...?!"exclaimed Robert.,,I am polyamorous and now I am married to a beautiful man and the boyfriend of a perfect woman."announced Stannis with something that on anyone else's face wouldn't be a smile.On his it was.
Relationships: Melisandre of Asshai/Stannis Baratheon, Renly Baratheon/Loras Tyrell, Stannis Baratheon/Davos Seaworth
Kudos: 3





	The one time Stannis went Las Vegas.....

,,Where were you, we need you.....?"began Robert to snapp, in his eyes a blue fire was burning and you could almost feel the heat of it, burning you.

,,I was in Vegas."

,,I know."interrupted Robert impatiently.

,,I got a divorce."

,,Lucky bastard."observed Robert grumpily.

,,And then I got a girlfriend."

,,That I won't believe until I met her."declared Robert coldly.

,,And then I got married in Vegas."

,,To your girlfriend, that's...."began Robert with a broad smile.

,,I got married to my husband."came the annoucnent that left Robert breathless.

,,You did what...?!"exclaimed Robert.

,,I am polyamorous and now I am married to a beautiful man and the boyfriend of a perfect woman."announced Stannis with something that on anyone else's face wouldn't be a smile.  
On his it was.

Robert sat down and starred at his brother as if he was a unicorn dancing on it's hind legs before him.

,,I think I am having a heart attack."declared Robert breathless.

.............

,,He did what?"

Irritated Loras looked at his boyfriend while was looking like the time Brienne had announced she was marrying Jaime Lannister.  
Of all the man Brienne could have had....  
Why him?  
Plus Loras knew Renly had always liked the fact that Brienne had a crush on him, it served his ego, even trough Renly was gay.

,,Are you sure?"questioned Renly in a high pitched voice, that he Loras reminded of the time they were made aware of the fact that Tywin Lannister was on Grindr. (Even now three years later no one could believe that)

,,Are you sure he isn't.....I'll or something like that?  
I mean some illnesses cause personality changes, don't they?"asked Renly in the vaguely worried tone.  
(He had used that one when Robert had a heart attack ).

A second later Renly threw a smile in Loras direction, before he disappeared out of their bedroom in order to spare Loras of the pound conversation.  
With a sigh Loras watched his boyfriend go.  
They always call, when we are busy...., he thought angrily.

Somehow, he thought, his loves family knew whenever they were having fun and immediatly called.  
He hated them a littel bit for that.  
Just a tiny littel bit, because he was a good person.  
But he still hated them, because like everyone he wanted to get laid.

Watching Renly put on all the clothes Loras had taken off him....that had been tortured.  
Watch him leave the room felt as if Loras finally had lost the war with against the stupid callers.  
Damn them!

Ten minutes later Renly came back and looked at Loras with an unreadable look.

,,What dud they say?"asked Loras.

With a sigh Renly moved towards him and sat down on the bed, next to Loras.

,,It was Robert apparently Stannus got divorced, then he married Davos and got a girlfriend."answered Renly looking as if he didn't believe one word he just said.

,,Stannis got an girlfriend and a husband?"asked Loras and just starred at his boyfriend.  
Stannis of all people?  
He had always assumed that Stannis was.....untouchable...cold...  
He had assumed that Stannis jever spent a second more then he had to with Selyse.  
But maybe that was, thought Lras, because he and Seltse had lost so many children before they got Shireen.

,,Aparently he is polyamorous."explained Renly and then added ,,He invited us to his official wedding to Davos."

,,Niece."replied Loras and nodded.  
Enough of the call, he thought.

As if Renly had read his mind, he smiled and leaned towards to kiss him and whisper in his ear ,,where were we?"

In this moment his boyfriend espacciamy much.

...........

,,Your brother is getting married?"asked Cersei with a frown.

,,Apparently."replied Robert ,,and he has a girlfriend, he is polyamorous."he added.  
God, he thought, with a headache, why was he the one who had to tell everyone?  
Why couldn't Stannis do that?  
Maube because his two lovers are distracting him, thpugt Robert with a smile.

,,Why are you grinning, we will have to start thinking about what we are going to wore at the wedding!"exclaimed Cersei angrily.

,,You won't."said Robert quitly.  
God, this would hurt..., he thought.  
Slowly he swallowed and looked up at her.

,,What do you mean?"snapped Cersei.

,,You aren't invited."told Robert her, before he left her office as fast as he could.  
Considering he was a middle aged, overweighedman who had an heart infect it was fast.  
Considering that he was trying to escape Cersei Lannister?  
It was too damn fucking slow.

................

,,He is getting married, I am so happy for him."told Brienne her husband with a smile and then kissed him.

,,Of course you are, you are a good hearted person."replied Jaime dryly ,,I for one am mostly pitying Davos because he will be stuck with such an uptight man."

Brienne shrugged at that ,,I talked with Davos and he seems to be excited to be stuck with an uptight man."

,,His problem and who is that woman that is his girlfriend?"asked Jaime irritated,,I mean why isn't she marrying him?"

,,Maybe she doesn't like marriage?"suggested Brienne.

,,I don't know why she wouldn't like that."replied Jaime and kissed her.

.........

,,I wonder how they got the stick out of his ass and him to agree to that"wondered Arya loud.

,,Arya language!"exclaimed her father immediatly.

,,O come on dad, you were wondering that to, just admit it!"replied Arya with an eyeroll.

Everyone at the table was starring at her unbelieving.

,,A littel."admitted Nedd Stark.

.............

,,I don't understand why we need a big wedding."complained Stannis whil he was growing at the magazines before him.

,,Because your husband and your girlfriend democratically outvoted you."pointed Melisandre with a smile put, while she took a sip of her red wine.  
Stannis looked adorably like that she thought, while she observed him.  
He was hunched over the magazines trying to make the perfect choice and he was nervously chewing on his bottom lip.

,,I just wish I had more time to make it the perfect wedding."admitted Stannis in the end.

,,It doesn't need to be."assured Davos him, while he stepped into the room and calmy walked over to Stannis.  
As soon as he reached his husband he sat down next to him and kissed him with a smile on the cheek.

,,You deserve a perfect wedding."pointed Stannis quitly out.  
And he looked guilty at that notion.

,,It will be as good as it can be."said Melisandre with a shrugg and then added,, I talked to Shireen she wants to be a flower girl."

,,I don't know what if they stare?"asked Stannis and his friends deepened.

Sometimes Melisandre how anyone could think he was cold.....  
With a sigh she realised that she knew why.....  
She understood that observation everytime she saw him be all logic and without any emotions.  
She understood it when she saw how cold he was towards Selyse.  
How loveless.

,,They won't hurt her, we won't let them."assured Melisandre and smiled at him before she slowly kissed him.  
,,We are family now, after all."

...........

The wedding was niece, Renly had to admit.

,,Davis and the woman must have done all the planning."pointed Loras amused out while he looked around.

,,Obvious or else wise everything would have been the bare minimum."replied Renly with a handshake.  
Sometimes he just didn't understood his brother....

,,Renly there you are."greeted Stannis him calmy and Renky turned around ready for a hug.  
Instead his brother took his hand and shakes it.  
Seriously?,thought Renly irrritard, they were brothers!

With grim determination Renly simply pulled his brother in a hug and only realised him after Stannis managed to wiggle free.

,,And I was worrying it would be awkward."commented Loras dryly.

,,Loras."acknowledged Stannis him with a curt nod, before he walked away.

,,I will never understand him."muttered Renly while he watched his brother go.

.........

,,How does it work in bed?"

Everyone starred at the speaker and almost everyone wondered....what the?  
But then they identified the speaker...  
Robert Baratheon, of course.  
Leave it to the oldest Baratheon brother to make the inappropriate questions....

Stannis looked as if he was ready to start his infamous teeth grinding.

,,It works well."informed Melisandre Robert with a sweet smile.

,,Really?"asked Robert curiously and leaned forward, for once stopping eating.  
All of them were seated in a great hall, eating the delicious food that was beeing served.  
As it was traditionally done they were all seated on one long table.  
Typically Stannis.  
The flower bouquets and the decoration was tastefully and decent.  
Not typically Stannis.  
More of the opposite.

,,Of course."assured Melisandre him with a smile.

,,You know I thought that Stannis would stay a man whose only sexual experiences are the ones he accidentally stumbles on, when he opened a door...."replied Robert with a grin.

,,That was one time and I hope you aren't going to do reaper that tonight and make it a habit."snapped Stannis at him sharply.

,,We will see."replied Robert at wich Stannis started to grind his teeth.

,,Don't do that honey."said Melisandre and kissed him on the cheek.

Everyone watched in awe as the smart and beautiful redheaded woman kissed him.  
How could it be that Stannis had ended up with such a kind and caring woman?

,,Yes, you will need these teeth later...."said Davos with a bold grin and ignored the glare Stannis sent his way.

Hell, how did Stannis manage to end up with such an cute and kind man?  
And above all....how did he ended up with BOTH?

,,What will he use the teeth for?"asked Robert, against his will coutious.  
After Renly had putted himself.....it had been a pretty rough time.

Next to him Renly could feel Loras tense up and glare deadly at his older brother.  
With a sad smile Renly placed his hand on top of Loras and entwined their fingers.

,,Ignore him."whispered Renly at Loras.

,,You are beeing rude."growled Stannis at his older brother immediatly.

Renly was pretty sure he jumped in, because he wanted no one to know what went on in his bedroom.  
But he was still glad that Stannis helped end reminding him of Roberts freak put about his sexuality.  
He wasn't sure if he would ever be able to forget it.

,,I think we should begin with the ceremony."Melisandre suggested.

...........

The septin was going on and on and Melisandre dud her best to supress the urge to speak up and tell him to cut it out.  
She could see the tension in Stannis face, he was probably thinking about how this never ending speaking Sexton was messing with his carefully planned time table.  
She could kiss him right now.  
But it wasn't her, who would kiss him.

Slowly she looked over at Davos.  
He was niece enough, she had thought at first.  
A littel plain maybe and not really smart, he had other qualities she discovered lately.  
Kind, soft and caring, in her opion he was softening Stannis edges, making him more likeable.  
Not that Stannis wasn't likeable, no he was even more likeable.  
But Melisandre had to admit that he could be stern and too lost in thought and too cold.  
Stannis was a good and just man, but he was hard and too cold.  
Davos managed to make up for that.

They were a good married couple.  
While Melisandre watched them, she felt no envy.  
She had never dreamed of a big wedding.  
In some movies she had seen it seemed as if every girl and woman's one big dream was a big wedding.  
It wasn't her dream.  
No, she had always wanted to make something other with her life.  
And she had never thought she ever would need a husband and she didn't.

........

Finally the septon got to an end, thought Davos.

,,With this kiss I pledge my love and take you as my rightful husband."declared Stannis and his steel blue eyes were fir once softer, not completely soft, but softer.  
Davos smiled at him.

,,With this kiss I pledge my love and take you as my rightful husband."replied Davos with a smile.

,,You may kiss the groom now."announced the septon finally.

Immediatly Davos took the task of the kissing over.  
He took a step forward and stood up on his tiptoe to kiss Stannis.  
Slowly Stannis kissed him back.

To Davos dissapointement Stannis soon took a step back and broke the kiss.  
More wouldn't have been appropriate realised Davos with a sigh.  
Fuck society and it's rules, was his next thought.

,,Well then let's start the real party."announced Robert with his booming voice.

Stannis only sighed drafted at that.

.........

When Robert said party he meant party....and with party he meant what he defined as a part.  
That meant:  
Lots of alcohol.  
Loud ear deafening music.  
Blinking lights.  
Wild drunk dancing, that was only toralabe when you were drunk (Stannis wasn't drunk)

,,I hate this."muttered Stannis onder his breath while he watched the people around him dancing mindlessly drunk.

,,Agree."replied Renly with a headshake.

,,If Robert ever again suggest we go partying with him, I will say no."stated Stannis as a matter of fact.

,,I will too."assured Renly him and for a minute they both just stood there and tried to hold onto this rare moment were they actually could tolerate each other.

Then Renly turned his head toward Stannis and decided a question that had tortured him for a long time.

,,Do you judge me for beeing gay?"asked Renly quietly.  
Then he looked away again, he just wouldn't be able to see another brother look disgusted at him.  
Not that Stannus really could after he just married a man, but....still....

,,Never."promised Stannis him just as quietly.

............

,,I bet Stannis is suffering right now."said Davos in a groggy, tired voice.

,,Probably, but I have some news that may delight him."replied Melisandre with a smile, who was lying next to him in the big bed, with a soft mattress.

For a second Davos considered asking her, but decided against it, she would have already told him if she had wanted him to know.

,,I wonder when he will come back."said Davos softly and looked over to Melisandre who was already looking back.

,,You mean you are wondering when he is going to consummate the marriage."pointed Melisandre with a delivish grin out.

,,We already consummated."replied Davos with a beaming grin and added ,,you should know you were involved."

,,Hmmm, in that case you want him to consummate after your big wedding."replied Melisandre amused.

,,I can't say that's true."admitted Davos and then added ,,But neither can you."

,,Of course not...."said Melisandre with a dreamy smile on her lips.

............

The next day once again the guests of the wedding were seated on a big table, this time to eat breakfast.

With satisfaction Renly noticed that Robert looked especially hungover.  
Karma, I love you, he thought.

Then to his suprise Brienne stood up to make an announcement.  
As soon as she was standing everyone was starring at her and Breienne nervously glanced over to Davos, a long time friend of her who reassuring nodded at her.

,,I have to make an announcement."Brienne started and then dryly swallowed before she continued ,,I and Jaime are going to get married.....we are engaged."

And then she sat blushing down while Jaime kissed her smiling.

,,Really when did that happen?"asked Loras as soon as the conversations started again.

,,Last night Brienne took me to the fitness studio where we first met and proposed....it was very, very romantic."told Jaime Loras with a proud grin.

,,How cute."observed Renly at smiled at her ,,Congratulations."

,,Thank you."Brienne replied and started to blush again.

And then to everyone's suprise Melisandre stood up, to make another announcement.

,,I just wanted go say that I am pregnant."she said.

After that everyone starred at her.

,,You are pregnant?"asked Robert unbelieving ,,Does that mean that Stannis actually slept with you?"

,,Robert."snapped Stannis at him.

,,I am sorry, but I can't believe this."decided Robert ,,As soon as the baby is born I want to do a DNA test."

,,Robert."snapped Stannis at him again.

,,Seriously, I can't believe it."muttered Robert.

,,You believed it when Shireeen was born, so find your faith from that time."growled Stannis at him.

,,Only because Selyse was as attractive as you."replied Robert.

,,Out."grinded Stannis.

,,What?"asked Robert confused.

,,Get out."repeated Stannis.

As soon as Robert had left Shireen shyly turned towards Melisandre ,,Does that mean I will get a sibling?"

,,It does, you will be a big sister."replied Melisandre with a smile.

,,Great."replied Shireen.

THE END


End file.
